so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
