I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
