i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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