whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
