The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
