your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
