remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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