We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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