I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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