Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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