I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
