If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
