i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
