and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
