there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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