For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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