I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
