She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
