Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
