is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
