This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
