just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
