its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
