I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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