If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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