Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
