I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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