One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
