there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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