After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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