I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
