so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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