Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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