Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
