I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
