her vagina looked like bernie madoff
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am mentally ready for anal.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
