I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
