Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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