She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
