What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
