I wanna passion pit in your ass
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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