I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
