I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just want nice things and good sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
