I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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