Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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