I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
