I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
