so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
