he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
