Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
