with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
