this beer tastes like vomit already
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
