the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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