Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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