there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
